How to be a Nigerian Pharmacist

You have finally finished Pharmacy school; one of the chosen ones! You were taught in school that Pharmacists are very important – “a doctor kills a person at a time but a pharmacist can kill a whole nation”… Now you are out of school and reality sets in! You realize that, you are only important as a Pharmacy student and nobody really knows who a Pharmacist is or his importance. Also, depending on where you find yourself, you are either a glorified marketer, sales boy/girl, or a “dispenser” of drugs! All the 5(+x) years you spent in school to do this? All the structures you had to cram, all the practical classes you failed and had to repeat for this? God will surely truncate the hustle of the lecturers in Pharmacy school!
Anyway, Do not worry, I will tell you how to succeed as a Pharmacist in Nigeria!

Firstly, you must find a Pharmacy to Register! Register and Go (popularly known as R&G) is the way forward. It is the easiest way to get that bulk sum of money. Money needed to hustle by just using your license to register the place- and they also foot all your registration fees! Make sure you register a Pharmacy that is not in the center of town so that those wicked people in PCN will not reach there. God will truncate the hustle of all the Pharmacists Council guys that are trying to catch R&G people (as if they did not do R&G in their time).

Secondly, become a rep! Easiest way to get a car as a Pharmacist! Depending on the company you are representing, you can get a brand new car or a second hand car (but car na car!). Some companies sef fit give you driver (make sure you collect the driver’s salary but drive yourself)! Beware of all those indigenous companies that promise you a car after you start work! Do NOT accept their offer until you see the car keys! God will surely truncate the hustle of any company that wants to truncate your hustle! I must warn you about this; as a Medical representative, your worst nightmare is not the Doctor (Doctors are very easy to convince- once you know how to sort them out your brand becomes number 1- I could give a whole lecture on this). It is your fellow Pharmacists that work in the hospital as dispensers or the glorified sales boys/girls in community Pharmacies that you should be wary of- Do not mind them, they are only jealous because they do not have flashy cars like you! Just try to buy drinks for them and give them branded biros, jotters and key-holders; it would help distract their envious minds!

Thirdly, do Locum! How can you not do Locum as a Pharmacist? It is also a good way for our God to bless your hustle! Make sure you do Locum in a Pharmacy where you are the only Pharmacist! If Possible, do Locum in a Pharmacy owned by a Non-Pharmacist! Pharmacists are very greedy and stingy! You have to be really careful working for another Pharmacist! They are very wicked! They do not want young Pharmacists to Progress! They watch your every move, maybe because they were dubious when they were young and  now they are scared! Work for a Non-Pharmacist; this way, your word is LAW! You can sit in the Pharmacists office and demand consultation fees from anyone who comes to the Pharmacy! NOOO! DONT scare the client by telling them before-hand! Add it to the overall Bill! Make sure you give Expensive “nutriceuticals”, explain how a lack of vitamins is the reason behind ALL illnesses! Make sure you are nice and friendly to the young girls that come to your Pharmacy, you can make a lot of money from Birth control pills and “counseling”. They will surely tell their friends about you and God can use them to bless your hustle! God Bless the men that come to buy Viagra, many of them will buy at whatever price you give them and it is a wonderful way to make money! May God bless their hustle! In fact, within one year if you are very sharp you can open your own Pharmacy (or find your way outside Nigeria)! Of course you can sell sedatives, just make sure there will be no trace to you if anything happens. May God truncate the hustle of anyone that wants to arrest you for selling a sedative of N300.

Lastly, Make sure you tell all your clients that going to the hospital is a waste of their time! You are the Pharmacist and even the Doctor does not know drugs like you! Liaise with a Laboratory near-by and send all your clients to that Lab (if necessary). Be careful though, some Lab scientists can be greedy! They can claim to be doctors and can truncate your hustle! Work out a payment formula with the lab and get paid for every patient you send there! Of course, your consultation fee will be more and you also get to sell drugs to the patient!
NEVER EVER tell your patient what drug they are taking! These people are wicked; if they know the name of the drug they would not come to you again!

God will surely bless your hustle

I will tell you more about making it as a Hospital Pharmacist in Nigeria

For now, I wish you all the Best
May God bless our collective Hustle!

——————

Advertisements

19 thoughts on “How to be a Nigerian Pharmacist

  1. Seriously!!! I enjoyed every article you posted on your blog which I just accidentally stumbled upon. It turns out you’ve nott posted anything recently and you may be enjoying “the life of your head” in the UK. I really love your writing and hope you find time to hit the keyboard soon.

  2. That’s good , rely proud finding my self in the field of pharmacy, I am a student of pharmacy bt not in Nigeria, am at India. Now if I finish my pharmacy successful how can I register my self and find work easy? And what are the most requirement before registering you? I rely like pharmacy and proud if been me a pharmacist

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s